Deadpool vs Everyone
by the ender defender
Summary: Deadpool opens a fighting game, where he fights fictional characters to prove he is the best
1. The announcement

Deadpool laid on his sofa, scratching his crotch with a pistol and reading a newspaper upside down and the TV was on. "Maaaan! I'm so BOOAAAARD!"

 _"I know! This is so lame!"_ One of his voices said

 **"I guess people don't need a mercenary nowadays"** The other said.

"Like hell they do! No one is calling me!" Deadpool looked up at the Tv. Dragon Ball Z was on. Cell was announcing his Cell games. "That's it!"

 _"You wanna be a creepy bug guy?"_

"Yes! I mean no!" Deadpool stood up on his desk "i shall open: THE DEADPOOL GAMES!"

 **"I'm in your head, and I don't even know what you mean"**

"I MEAN. I'll find people to fight me, kick their a**es, and PROVE how awesome I am!" Deadpool said "Now! TO THE COMPUTER!" Deadpool ran to his computer and began to type"

 **"And, just what are you doing?"**

"Making inventions, of course!" Deadpool looked at the reader "Just follow me on this! Trust me, it will be AWESOME!"

 _"Oh! Invite that Cell guy! It would be awesome!"_

"Great Idea!" Deadpool continued to type.

 **"How the hell do you expect to get all these people?"**

"I know a guy" Deadpool pulls out a phone and dials a number "Yo, Ender!"

"What is it Wade?" Ender asked "I'm in the middle of writing a death battle"

"Yeah, about that. We SERIOUSLY need to talk about the way you made me talk! It was SOOO lame!"

"I was just starting! Cut me some slack!"

"Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted you to let me get a hold of some characters!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I am announcing THE DEADPOOL GAMES!"

"..."

"What?"

"Fine, just DON'T destroy all of reality...again"

"No promises!" Deadpool hung up. "Hold on to your butts, reader! This is going to be awesome!"


	2. Ryu Hayabusa

Deadpool stood in the middle of an island, looking at his wristwatch "Where the hell is everybody!?"

 **"Maybe you should have put the, I don't know, LOCATION of your tournament on the damn invitations!"**

 _"Wait! Here comes someone now!"_

Approaching the mercenary was a tall man in a ninja garb

"FINNALY! Your the first person to show up" Deadpool skipped over to him and took out a camera "I want to remember this moment forever! Say 'Chimichanga!'" The ninja drew his sword and stabbed the merc with a mouth in the gut. Deadpool looked down at the tip of the blade and poked it "Penetration on the first date? You could at least buy a man dinner first" The ninja withdrew his blade

"Quite your talking. This is a tournament, so we shall fight!" The ninja pointed his sword again.

"Ah! Right, and...you aaaaarrrrreeeee?'

 **"Ryu Hayabusa"**

"Ryu Hayabusa! Welcome!" Ryu brought his sword down again, but Deadpool took out his katana's to block it "Alright, so you don't like small talk. Gotcha" The merc pushed the ninja away. Ryu took out his his Bow and began to fire arrows at Deadpool. Deadpool gleefully dodged the arrows, saying things such as "Missed me! Too slow!" and making 'Woop' noises over and over

 **"Stop playing around and start attacking!"**

"Come on! Lets let the ninja have his fu-oof!" An arrow struck the merc in the forehead. Ryu dropped his bow and brought out his scythe. The ninja jumped into the air and brought the scythe down, impaling the merc again. "Oof! My spleen!" The ninja withdrew the scythe and cleved the merc's head off

"You were not even worth my time" Ryu shrugged as he began to walk away. Suddenly, he heard something behind him

"To the left! Left!" The head of the merc commanded, as his body searched around. "No, not your left! MY left!" The head sighed "Seriously! Its not rocket science!"

"Impossible" The ninja stared at the scene

"One sec, Roku or whatever the hell your name is!" The head spoke "Let me just...no, that's a rock! How many times do I have to say it: LEFT!" Eventually, the body picked up the head and placed it on backwards "Whoa, hang on. Something's off..." Deadpool twisted his head back into place "Ah there we go!"

"How are you still alive?" Ryu asked

"See, heres the thing, Busy" Deadpool took out his guns "I can't die! You on the other hand" He fires his machine guns "BANG BANG BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG BANG BA-BANG!" Ryu dodges the bullets quickly, as Deadpool's guns clicked "Uh oh" Ryu takes out a ninja star and throws it at the merc. Deadpool dodges the star and took out two pistols "Good thing I have these!" He began to shoot them "Bang! Bang! Bang!" Ryu blocked the bullets with his dragon sword and closed in on the merc "Oh! Sword fight time!" Deadpool clapped like a school girl as he took out his katanas. He clashed them against the dragon sword. The two fighters kept clashing blades until they both stabbed the other in the stomach. Ryu backed up and coughed up blood

"How..." Deadpool took out the dragon sword from his chest

"Oh! Pretty!" He inspects how shiny it is. "Eh. I still perfer my own" he tossed it away, the blade landing in the ninja's skull and causing him to fall dead. Deadpool walks over "I'll just take this back. Yoink!" He grabbed his sword from the corpse.

 **"Are we just going to leave him there?"**

"What? He'll be fine. A nice present for the next fighter!"

* * *

 **Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading, and sorry this took so long to update. Exam's are a real pain in the butt...so I haven't had a lot of time to work on stuff. So, hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Jason Voorhees

Deadpool whistles as he waits for his next opponent. He hears some ominous music playing. "Who changed my tunes?" He walked over to a boombox, which is laying in the field for some reason, and hits it hard which causing a rap song to play "That's more like it!" He chuckles as he walks back to the arena. The music changed back to the ominous music again and the merc sighed "Seriously? The thing must be busted" Just then, a man began to walk up. He stood incredibly tall, and wore a green jacket and hockey mask "Oh heeeeyyyyy..."

 **"That's Jason Voorhees. Seriously, did you even READ the names you put on those invitations?"**

 _"What kind of name is 'Voorhees'? Is he German?"_

 **"I seriously doubt that"**

"Jason! My man! My main man!" Deadpool walked up and punched Jason playfully in the arm "Great timing! I need your help" The mercenary grabbed Jason's arm and pulled him towards the boombox, where he was suddenly holding two antennas. "I need you to hold your arms up. Like. WAAAAAAYYY up there! I'm not getting good signal here"

 _"Our boombox needs Radio signals?"_

 **"I sorta expected this. After all, he DID buy it from a garage sale for 5 cents."**

 _"...We bought it?"_

Jason, already annoyed at Deadpool's behavior, threw the antennas on the ground and grabbed the machete from his neck.

"Ouch. That looked like it hurt" Deadpool commented. Jason ran his fingers against the edge of the blade in silence "The silent treatment eh?" Jason continued to stay silent "Yesh, first the ninja now you? Here i thought this would be fu-OOF!" As he was talking, Jason swung his machete into his neck. Deadpool pushed his arm away and held his neck. "Yikes. You don't waste time."

 **"I suggest you fight back this time!"**

"Yeah, your probably right" Deadpool said

 _"Or! You could rip that mask off and see what he looks like!"_

"I like that idea better!" Deadpool said. Jason walked up and cracked his knuckles. Deadpool pulled out his swords "Time to cut that mask off!" Deadpool swings his blades at the killer, however they break upon impact. "Hey! You better pay for these!"

 **"Yes. Pay for those 2 buck katanas"**

"We're on a budget!" Deadpool yelled. Jason swung his machete at the merc, cutting his arm off. Deadpool looked down "Oh come on!" The merc wined "Why does everyone do this!? And why does it all ways have to be THAT arm!?" Deadpool grabbed the severed arm. Jason said nothing as he slowly approached. Deadpool, after reattaching his arm, turned and punched Jason's cheek. Smirking under his mask, Deadpool uppercutted Jason's jaw "Shoryuken!" The impact knocked Jason's mask off, reviling his face to the merc "Oh god!"

 **"That...is disturbing"**

 _"I Think I'ma puke!"_

"You can't puke! You're just in my-" Deadpool's sentence was cut off by the sound of someone vomiting

 **"Dear lord its everywhere!"**

Jason scowls, cracking his neck and punched Deadpool away. Shaking his head, Deadpool stood back up

"Remind me to call Wolvie. I finally found someone uglier then him." Deadpool pulled his guns out and kissed them "I love you girls! Now get to work!" Aiming, Deadpool shoot rapidly at the approching killer "Bang bang bang! Bang! Bang bang Ba-Ba-bang!" When it became apparent it was not working, Deadpool took out a grenade "Fire in the hole!" He threw it at Jason's feet, which then exploded. Deadpool started celebrating by dancing/moonwalking when a machete flew out of the smoke and impaled Deadpool in the groin "OOHH! MY NUTS!" Deadpool yelled, holding up a shattered jar of peanuts "I was going to have these as a snack! YOU MONSTER!" Deadpool ran at Jason with his sword and impaled his neck. Jason looked down and punched Deadpool away. Looking at the hilt of the blade, Jason noticed 3 small glowing disc-like objects with a picture of Deadpool laying down. Words were writen on the picture

 _"Smile!"_

With that, the sword exploded Jason's head, making him fall limp. Deadpool picked his corpse up and threw it on Ryu's. He then returned to the center and scratched his butt, waiting for the next fight.


End file.
